Friday, May 04, 2007
F.Y.I. A secret to self-love.
"Some people say we need judgments to be able to live in this world. “How could I make decisions if I didn’t judge? Isn't that how we make decisions?” Let’s make a distinction between a value judgement and an observation.
In an observation we see, hear, feel what is happening around us. We then state what we see. When we’re judging something, we go one step further in the process of observation and add in a subjective evaluation. We
label the event as either good, or bad. THAT, is the value judgment. You're not removing the decision making process, you're simply replacing "good and bad" with "I want, I don't want."
How does this apply to accepting yourself? Well, you do the same thing to yourself. You first make an observation about yourself, ("I am fat") then decide if it’s a good or bad thing to be ("It's bad to be fat"). When we judge something about ourselves as “bad”, it becomes impossible for you to accept (be okay with) that part of yourself. BUT, it is possible to accept (be okay with) your weight and still know you WANT to be thinner. Make sense?
Judgment stands as an obstacle to self-love. When you form judgments about another person, for instance, “this person looks like a lazy person,or a failure, or has terrible clothes,” you create a message to your subconscious that the world is a place where you had better act in certain ways if you want to be accepted...that you are only going to accept yourself under certain conditions. This leads to an inner dialogue of self-criticism.
What if you were to drop your value judgments and simply saw “what is” then identified what you wanted and why? It could totally transform your experience. What are the ramifications of doing so? Perhaps you would find a well of love for yourself and others that you never knew existed. Perhaps you'd notice the less you judge yourself, the less you'll judge others and vice-versa. And maybe, just maybe, the experience of acceptance would give you the solid foundation to move forward in creating yourself and your life the you've always dreamed."
To sum it up, the more you judge others, the more you judge yourself. With more judgement there is less self-love, which leads to insecurities, no matter how much of a great front you put on. Now be rhetorical and be honest with yourself. How
much do you judge and treat everyone? When you label someone as 'dumb' or 'ugly' or anything, you are more or less judging against yourself as well. If you are judgemental, then you are likely to be badly affected by what others say about or think of you-- the obstacle to true self-love.
